Ready, willing, and able

I saw this quote recently on Facebook. 

“Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent.
Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent.
Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil?
Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God?”

― Epicurus

Like everything, I over thought this one and came up with 3 things to say, because I can't pick just one. 

1. The first thought was at what cost? What are the consequences of making evil just disappear?
2. Then I realized that God HAS solved the problem of evil. IS solving the problem of evil. We're just not experiencing the full effects of it yet.
3. And finally I see that the questions themselves have an unspoken, underlying assumption - God should just snap His fingers and make evil disappear.

Things in common

In order to address Epicurus' questions, I considered the nature of evil. Evil is like darkness. Darkness is not a thing. Light is a thing. Darkness is our word for the absence of light. Evil is not a thing. Righteousness is a thing. Evil is the absence of righteousness. God doesn't prevent evil. God fills us with righteousness.

Evil comes from our will, our desire. We drive out God so that we can sit in His place. Like a shadow, we block light, making darkness. We block His righteousness, making evil. To "make evil disappear" means taking away our will. We are no longer us, like computers or machines that blindly follow what someone else builds them to do. Not by choice, but simply by nature. A very heavy price, indeed.

A different way

Instead, God made a way to re-enter our lives, to bring back the light. More importantly, His way only costs Him, not us. We remain who we are. We accept Him in His place. And the shadows disappear. Evil goes away because there is only righteousness.

No, that does not describe today. Darkness still exists today. Sometimes it seems like the shadows are deeper than the light is bright. He laid the groundwork, let everyone know what He's done, and our hope is that this time is coming.

Oh, snap!

The entire basis of Epicurus' questions was that God should act in the way we want, in the time we want. I don't want that. My perspective is much too limited. I can barely handle the small amount of reality that I perceive every day. Being responsible for all of time, over all of space, is unthinkable.

From my mortal viewpoint, limited to maybe 70 or 80 years, in this little dust ball in a cosmos so big we can't measure it yet, it sure looks like God takes His sweet time curing evil.

From His viewpoint, where the next TRILLION years is less than one second of one minute in one day of my life, He is snapping His fingers. This is all moving very fast. And the brief time that evil existed will be nothing more than a single digit of Pi plucked from the middle of this unrepeating, never ending decimal. Long forgotten and crowded out by the sheer volume of forever.

Willing. Able. And did it. Because He is God.

Fallen Trees

 Vania,

Remember we talked about the tree that fell down in the wind? How the roots spread out but not down? When the wind blew, there wasn't anything to hold the tree in the ground. So it fell over and died.

Relationships with people are like that, Vania. They need depth in order to stand. Do you also remember telling me you wanted a nap to get out of a bath? How that wasn't true - it was a lie? Lies are trees that grow tall, sprout leaves, and have no roots. Lies have no depth. When the wind comes, the relationship falls over and dies.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last; but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised. Reward her for all she has done. Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. -- Proverbs 31:30-31

Vania, the best way to have a relationship with anyone is to have a strong relationship with Jesus. He is your root, your anchor. Those "deeds" the verse talks about? Those are the leaves of the tree. A tree rooted in Jesus stands no matter the wind. His root goes deep and spreads far. Don't worry about the leaves. They'll grow from the root.

Before you were born, there was a single rose bloom that kept sprouting up in our yard. I would mow it over week after week. It just kept coming back. Finally, I dug it up. This single stalk flower had a good 12 inch root that was huge. That's why the flower wouldn't die. I replanted that root and the rose continued to thrive.

When we focus on obeying Jesus, listening to His voice, He becomes our root. Jesus doesn't expect us to always know what's right. He expects us to listen. He'll tell us. We trust Him. He trusts us. And your relationship grows, like a huge tree. Rooted to the earth so deeply that the wind can't blow it over.

If you are faithful in little things, you will be faithful in large ones. But if you are dishonest in little things, you won't be honest with greater responsibilities. -- Luke 16:10

Trust always begins in the little things. Doing your chores without being asked. Reminding me that you need a bath. Each truth you tell to yourself builds your strength. One day, you will need that strength. One day, you will have to tell the truth when it isn't little, when it's hard. That moment is like the wind. I want your roots to be strong, deep.

I love you so much, Vania. Jesus loves you even more. I hope you always talk to Him. Thank Him when you're happy. Cry when you're angry.

Individual Spirituality

 As often happens in my brain, a couple of things collided, forming a new thought. Well, new to me. I guess that what counts.

The first was a blog post from a college friend entitled Ocean of Prayer. I spend a lot of time in my own head. It never occurred to me that people might need structure to do that. The uniqueness even among people with so much in common astounds me. It comes as no surprise then that we all follow the same Christ in so many different ways. Of course there are different denominations. There are different people. All with different skills, needs, and preferences.

The second came from a book series I re-visited - the Foundation series by Isaac Asimov. I just finished the fourth book which brought in a planet called Gaia. As I understand it, the term gaia refers to a universal consciousness. And in the book, this planet is "one" with its inhabitants, plants, rocks, etc.. The idea of individual becomes lost.

It has opened my eyes to the importance of the individual in the Bible. Of course you have the famous parable about the 1 lost sheep. Shepherd takes his flock back to the pen for the night. He counts them going in. He left with 100, only 99 made it back. Shepherd goes chasing after the 1 lost sheep. 

The shepherd doesn't abandon 99. He makes sure that those 99 are safe and sound first. Then he goes after the 1. It's not that 1 was more important. It's that all 100 were important - as individuals. It could have been any one of those sheep. And at different times, it probably was. It may be a convenient short cut to refer to them as flock. But that shepherd knew them as individuals. He cared for them as individuals.

Going back to the balance among motivations - wisdom, power, wealth, and esteem of others. We have a spiritual need to reshape things in our image. Our homes reflect our personality. Do you paint? Each work reflects something about you. These ramblings that I spew onto the Internet, they reflect something about me. The more I reflect God's image, the more these things take His shape also. And yet, it's never just Him. There is something unique in how I reflect God.

That's individuality. I propose that was God's intention all along. That we, as unique individuals, grow more like Him, but not the same as Him. We hold much in common, but in different ways. The Bible, the gospel grows individuals. 

Why is that so important?

Going Sideways

This past Sunday, we started a series on church polity. Fancy word for how churches may organize themselves structurally. This specific church calls itself elder led. The teacher explained it as both the elders (leadership) and congregation having authority. It's authority over different things.

In my head, this turned the organizational chart on its side.

        /-- Elders
Jesus -<
        \-- Congregation

Now I'm going to switch from saying authority to using the word responsibility. At their heart, these are the same thing. Responsibility is assigned sideways, not down (or up). Jesus said that all power in heaven and earth has been granted to Him. He shares it, sideways, with His joint heirs.

It occurs to me, that if God views His relationship with us that way, does He view other relationships the same way - sideways? We look at so many things as a hierarchy - nature (food chain), businesses, government, marriage, children. Someone is in charge. Someone is at the top. It's our natural point of view.

But what do these relationships look like on their side? Did God create animals and nature with a responsibility? A responsibility different from human beings? God's first instruction to Adam and Eve was to subdue nature. Not control nature, subdue it. Their charge was to direct nature as it carried out its responsibilities. Adam and Even did not give nature responsibility. They directed its actions as nature fulfilled its responsibilities.

How does that look in a family? Years ago, a professional producer gave a one day workshop for my church's worship team. He explained the different roles of the different band parts as a cake. The bass line was the cake. It created a structure. The melody was icing that went around the structure. Fast forward many years, and my friend says that she thinks of spirits as waveforms. This discussion of sideways relationships combines these two concepts.

God created the base wave form. Our obedience, or submission, allows us to add our own distinctive form on top of His base. God set the tone. We play off that. Couldn't this also apply to our own interpersonal relationships? When we submit, we allow the other person to set the tone. We play off of them. Obedience is not about control. It's about direction. Obedience isn't vertical. It's sideways.

Old Clay Pots

Have you ever told someone that they're worthless? Do you ever feel worthless? Has someone told you that you are worthless?  Were they wrong?

That probably feels awkward. You would usually expect some kind of encouragement. A soliloquy about how everyone matters to God. The truth is, they don't.

The Bible quite clearly divides humanity into two groups. And whatever labels you use, one group receives God's boundless grace while the other gets ignored. Well, the Bible uses language such as cast out, utter darkness, torment. In church tradition, we refer to this as Hell. What do you think this means?

It is God turning His back. Those in this condition are simply ignored. They are of such little consequence that God stops paying attention to them. At all. Isn't that worthless?

Somewhere in the Old Testament (Jeremiah or Isaiah?) is the illustration of a potter. A potter creates pots. The potter makes very ornate pots, putting them on display for sale. They bring much needed food, clothing, etc. to their creator - the potter. These pots have value to the potter. He will care for them. Protect them. They're not used for common, everyday tasks.

On the other hand, the potter has some pots that have defects. The potter created them with the intention to discard them because he needed that pot for another purpose. When it serves that purpose, the pot becomes worthless. Not even fit for a menial task like hauling water.

Which pot are you? I don't know. Neither do you. We can't see forever. God knows. The potter knows. And He sent the person Jesus Christ to gather His pots. When you feel worthless, is your first instinct to run to Jesus and ask?

Probably not. I go into my head. Self righteous feels good in that moment. Of course I'm not worthless, I say. But what good does that do? Can I will myself to live forever? Can I, merely by choosing, change the course of the world? Affect a single black hole wandering through the universe? Guide the sub-atomic particles hurtling through the vastness of the cosmos to their destinations and make them bond with other particles to form elements and worlds and stars? Nope. I can't even stop my hair from turning grey.

My own valuation of myself is completely meaningless. Your evaluation of me is completely meaningless. I'm pretty sure you can't do any of these things either. And even if all the billions and billions of people in the world join together, they can't do that either. The value that I ascribe just isn't that much.

The value Jesus gives, well that's astronomical. Power over life and death. He commanded the weather. Re-arranged matter (water into wine). Kicked immune systems into place (aka healed the sick). And raised Himself from the dead. This is value. His value of me, His opinion of me matters a lot.

If you are worthless to Him, aren't you truly worthless? I see this pattern that God doesn't do anything small. We live on a large world, in a huge solar system, on an even more impressive galaxy, inside an immeasurable universe. He created us forever - no end. Our movies only last 1 to two hours. His story goes on and on. Nothing He does is small.

The same goes for hope and despair. You can read this and be happy beyond measure because Jesus told you, tells you, that you belong to Him. You matter. He gives you value - and all that other stuff too. Or you can read this and go into despair. Only one person knows your place - Jesus.

So my point? Your hurt feelings do not determine right and wrong. I'm not dismissing your feelings. They are real. Relationships are important. And if a friend told me they felt this way, I would reach out with empathy and love. But, sadly, that's all I have to offer. Jesus has way more. So start there. Start with His truth, with Him.

Obedience, revisited

I've been thinking over obedience lately. I think it gets a bad rap. We tend to associate obedience with controlling. As a matter of fact, I've known people to use that very misconception as an excuse for being disobedient.

In the early stages of a relationship, obedience often comes with a significant measure of obedience. For example, when I first started in my current job, I did a lot of exactly what I was told. I complied a lot. That's how I learned. It's how I earned the trust of the people I serve. 

After a while, I began asking if I could change something. When several of those worked out (and a few didn't), they began asking for input. Our relationship grew based on trust. Obedience plays a key role in establishing trust. The goal of obedience was and always is a deepening relationship.

God established this early on. The very first books in the Bible spell out a lot of rules. In the early stages of His relationship with us, obedience involved a large degree of control - compliance. But it doesn't stay there. The people considered heroes in the Bible all showed faith. Obedience established trust. Trust brought a deeper relationship.

Obedience in marriage is not about control. It's about communication. It establishes roles. A husband bears responsibility for the decisions he makes. God clearly expects those decisions to involve sacrifice on his part, place his family's needs above his own, and fall in line with God's own principles.

A wife can and should give input to her husband. She has an obligation to persuade him. That takes work learning his style, lingo, and preferences. Manipulation occurs when he's deceived about why. Persuading your husband to move in a direction God asks = very good. Saying that just to get your own way = very bad. Do you understand your own motivations that well?

The goal is always trust. When practiced over many years, the lines become blurred. That's okay. That's what should happen. Proverbs 31 describes a desirable wife as one who conducts business independently, but in coordination with her husband. Rather than control, her obedience led to greater responsibility and a deeper relationship. 

God starts us out on the easy stuff - just like I did with my kids. As we mature through out obedience, He gives us more responsibility and more complex situations. And once you think you've got it, blam! He'll hit you with something that doesn't fit anything you think you understand. There is always more.

Obedience is not training. Dog's are trained. People obey. Obedience comes from the obedient person. Training comes from the master. They're backwards of each other. Training makes the dog subservient. Obedience elevates your stature. Sounds weird, right? How can doing what someone else says make me more? Because every relationship has 3 people - you, me, and God.

Should a wife express her opinion, desires, and ideas? Absolutely. Obedience merely describes the how, not the what. It's how you approach your husband, boss, pastor, God, etc.. That you should approach him is never the question.

Does that make sense? Am I rationalizing? I don't know. I need to learn a little more.

Connection

 I'm struggling with a mix of emotions right now. And they're all related to a couple of things that happened recently.

A few weeks ago, one of my elementary school teachers was arrested. It might be valid, and it might be a false accusation. Honestly, I have no idea. My point is that today I remembered having a dream about being in elementary school again. I saw the gym where we waited for school to start in the winter. Even walked through it in my dream. Then a friend sent me the news clipping about this whole scandal. I didn't make the connection until today.

I say this because something similar happened this week. I started out in a funk this week. Irritated at every little thing. And a vague feeling of powerlessness. I have been wracking my brain (and praying) about why. Today, my ex e-mails me. She gave my youngest daughter a phone and set up an second Google account.

My daughter has had an Android tablet for several years. She has history, e-mail, and content already under a Google account. My ex has received, accepted, and declined appointments for years that went to my daughter's account. Yet the ex set up a brand new one. Threw all of the history and purchases out the window. (Sorry, I'm still mad. It bleeds through.)

That was all in motion earlier this week - during the funk. I think my feelings were related to those actions. Spiritually, I felt my ex's hurtful actions.

My friend at work calls us empaths. We get along so well because we understand each other. I think empathy means more than just emotions. I think it's more spiritual. It expresses itself through emotions. Empathy may come through the part of the brain that deals with our own emotions. Makes sense. I re-use subroutines all the time.

I don't understand the mechanism. Do we all have this? Is it part of our spiritual being? Is it God speaking, guiding? Preparing me for something that's coming. Is it because the spiritual realm isn't constrained by time. And I'm feeling spiritual changes before they become realized in the physical world? Is this what we lose when we die to the spirit?

I think God does use this mechanism to speak. I think He uses empathy to the extent the person feels empathy. Empathy is not a measure of connection with Him. Not all empaths live in the Spirit. And not everyone in the Spirit has the same empathic ability. Like everything else, I think God created me with a unique combination and tailors our relationship that way.

Concrete Application

Ever heard the justification I'm not hurting anyone but myself? I'm here to say that's a lie. I am hurt, whether you meant that or not. I am hurt because I feel it. You can't change that. You can't stop it. You can't control it. When I connect with someone, their feelings invade my own - like this week.

You are hurting someone. I spent two decades married to this woman who told me every day that her sin is my fault. My oldest two daughters hurt me rather than feel remorse or shame. An old "friend" who told me I was wrong because I didn't obey her social rules on Facebook - just because she didn't like the facts in what I said. I am surrounded by people who impose their feelings on me. Define right and wrong on their feelings. Yet have no regard whatsoever for mine.

I'm a thinker. I internalize everything. I think that's selfish. Placing ones self at the center of the universe - everything revolves around your feelings. But don't point that out.

A scorpion always stings. And the emperor has no clothes. People are messy. I'm no exception.