I wanted to say thank you for going out of your way to acknowledge my feelings. Something happened that made it stand out. I'm grateful to my friend for her thoughtfulness and compassion.
Two days ago. I made Vania go on a walk with me down by the lake. I like walks. The lake walk has few people. It's very pleasant. Well, until Vania demanded to go home just a few minutes into the walk. Frankly, it hurt my feelings. And I told her so.
Today, Vania comes out to the living room, turns on Youtube, grabs a blanket, lays her head in my lap, and falls asleep. No I'm sorry. For two whole days, there's not one word acknowledging my feelings. I recognize this behavior. Renee did it. Deanna and Lucy did it. The entitlement is followed closely by bitterness and depersonalization. I don't think Vania has any understanding of what happened.
Repentance is a necessary ingredient of forgiveness. Repentance says I hurt you, I know that I hurt you, and I chose to put you above me. Without repentance, forgiveness is merely getting away with what's been done. Sadly, this seems to be exactly what most people want - get away with it. It's the addicts way of thinking. We are merely an object to be used for their own ends.
Thank you for the love you show. It means a great deal.
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