I had an unpleasant realization Saturday morning. Renee has all the behaviors of an abuser - empty promises to change, denial of a problem, blaming the victim, insincere kindness trying to pretend she never did anything wrong. It was the insincere kindness that caught my attention.
Renee is substituting politeness for repentance. This is a pattern that I've seen over and over. She did exactly this after having hallucinations and neglecting the girls. What really makes me angry is that someone has told Renee all of this makes her right. They believe that I owe her because she's made an empty gesture.
I'm loathe to say that Renee abused me. I'm sure she tried. Renee used abuse as an excuse - a way to make me (and other people) feel sorry for her. It's left a bad taste in my mouth, emotionally speaking. So in my mind, the important thing is her behavior. See, I can't even call it abusive behavior.
But it was. Still is.
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