Love and Need

Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other. (Dali Lama)

Yes, this a million times over. This defines the difference between obedience and compliance. Compliance does as little as it needs to get what it wants. Obedience goes above and beyond not just to avoid punishment, but to genuinely please someone.

I've wondered why God made it so easy for us to forget just how much He does for us. Our brains are designed - by Him - to shunt away things that repeat. Can this be one reason?

I don't know about you, but my brain has limited capacity. What if I spend that capacity loving Him instead of thinking about everything I need from Him? Shouldn't that be the basis of my relationship with Him? My love exceeds the need? And it's a lot of big needs.

At Home

This is something I tried to teach my daughters. Following rules is where toddlers start. I expected you to do not just what I asked, but above and beyond. Do it with excellence. Cleaner than I expected. Notice that it needs doing without me telling you. Understand what I want, and do something I never asked you to do.

Obedience becomes a vehicle for learning. We become more like the person we "obey". Too often we think of obedience as following commands, like a soldier in the military. Like soldiers, you're not supposed to stay a private for all your life. You learn, you grow, and you take on more responsibility. Eventually, you shape others as much as others have shaped you.

Obedience leads to responsibility, respect, trust. God wants us to rule the world. That was His first command to Adam. The more we become like Him, the more responsibility He gives us. God didn't create robots to be programmed. He expected us to grow. He expects to give us more.

That's what I want for my girls. I expect them to move out and have their own families. To take responsibility for themselves, then someone else.