Decently and In Order

Our family visited a new church this weekend. The pastor spoke about giving. What a Sunday for visitors, huh? He did a fine job with the sermon.

The sermon covered three principles in tithing: give sacrificially, give responsibly, and give cheerfully. God's word lays out our priorities in giving:

1. Tithe
   
2. Take care of your family
3. Offerings

Step 2 befuddles me at times. This is where Dave Ramsey's baby steps come into play. They set clear limits on responsible spending. And when you work through those 7 steps, you end in a position to give offerings.

The hardest part is saying no right now. God calls us to give sacrificially. He does not call us to put our families in jeopardy. You must understand the limits of your giving before pushing those limits.

Notice that none of those Baby Steps mention a budget? A budget makes the steps possible. A budget defines the limits. And allows you to stretch those limits. With a budget, you know what to sacrifice, responsibly providing for your family, making all of your giving cheerful.

Why Worry?

What started all of this talk about worry? After 15 years, the company eliminated my position - a layoff! 30 people were let go. One coworker told us a story. He found work almost immediately. His preschool daughter said don't lose your job today, Daddy. It's a heart wrenching experience.

At the time, I was reading an anthology of Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Stop Worrying and Start Living. Those books made a deep impression.

Worry constantly bangs on the door during a career change. How will we eat? What if I can't find work? Am I trying hard enough? Am I good enough? Some days the fear becomes overwhelming. I read my notes from those books along with Psalms or Proverbs.

Worry comes from the heart. It is fear taken to its utter most extreme. It is hopelessness. In spite of everything, you can't avoid the worst.

My hope lays in Jesus Christ. Because He lives, I am never without hope. Worry is selfishness - my circumstances are so much worse than anyone else. No one can help me. When we stop looking at ourselves, worry disappears. And you won't even realize it! Christ is our hope and salvation. You cannot worry when you have hope.

The Worry Syndrome

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. And hate... leads to suffering. - Yoda, The Phantom Menace.

Think about that list we wrote down earlier. It hurt writing those down, didn't it? Your body responded to the emotions of worry. Emotions have very real, physical effects on our bodies. You cry when sad. You smile when happy. Or what butterflies in your stomach for nervous?

Worry and fear go hand-in-hand. And that fear, that worry, has physical effects:

• Migraines
• Exhaustion
• Arthritis
• Ulcers
  

Losing sleep over it is the euphemism. Yet it's true, isn't it? You don't sleep well when you're worried. You feel run down, exhausted, drained. Then you start snapping at your kids and wife. Your entire body tenses. Every muscle clenches.

Lack of sleep cannot kill you. Lack of rest can. My brother decided once to see how long he could hold his breath. And for some reason decided to try this in the kitchen. So he held his breath. Guess what happened? Yes, he passed out - and smacked his teeth on the counter top. But he started breathing again. You see, it's physically impossible to die from holding your breath. Your body breathes on its own. Holding your breath requires an act of the will.

Likewise, your body sleeps on its own. You cannot physically make yourself stay awake forever. Eventually the body shuts down and you sleep. Staying awake takes an act of the will.

Worry does not rob us of sleep. It robs us of rest. Sleep refreshes the body. Rest refreshes the spirit. The spirit gives life to the body.

My great-grandmother lived into her nineties. As long as I knew her, my grandparents cared for her. They eventually placed her in a nursing home. My grandmother fretted over that decision for many years prior. She viewed nursing homes as place where you went to die. Because people simply stopped once they arrived. They gave up. They lost their spirit.

Worry crushes the spirit. And through that, it destroys the body.

What Me Worry?

What are you worried about? Losing your job? The drop in your 401k? The squealing noise coming from your car brakes? How's your health? Take a minute and write them down. All of them.

Proverbs 22:3 says A prudent man sees danger and takes refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. You should be concerned about the squealing brakes. You should watch your company's financial situation. Carefully, thoughtfully watch for danger. And take refuge.

Worry is an emotional obsession about things that might happen. When you worry, every thought rests on the target of that worry. You simply cannot put it out of your mind. Even worse - you really don't know if it will happen. The thought that it might triggers worry.

Worry crowds out everything else. It's a distraction. You cannot think of anything beyond that problem. Worry turns your mind inward. And it blots out the world around you. It locks you in a vault with no windows. Nothing else matters. Worry constantly screams for your attention.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? - Matthew 6:25-27

Worry is fear. What are you afraid of?

Tending the Fields

Two articles ago, we discussed the budget process. At that time, you simply wrote down where the money goes. That is important historical information. Today's article takes the next step — controlling where the money goes. A budget does not just record where your money went. A budget plans where your money is going.

First we take the list of categories. Down the left hand side we'll place numbers, starting with 1. Find the most important thing in your list — food. Trust me, you want to eat. Put a 1 next to food. Now find clothing and put a 2 next to it. The mortgage or rent goes next. Follow that with your savings for a car, insurance, and license fees. What we've done is build four walls.

Imagine raising a house. You build the roof first. Then construct a wall. Lean the roof from that one wall to the ground. Now slip another wall underneath. This isn't going too well, is it? You would never build the roof first. That's just crazy. Put up four walls and the roof goes on quite easily.

Personal finance shares much in common with our imaginary house. We have four walls supporting the rest of the structure:

1. Food


2. Clothing


3. Shelter


4. Transportation

These represent the very basic necessities. You need something of all these elements to live and work. It does you no good paying Visa while going hungry for three days. You can only earn more money staying healthy enough for work.

Proverbs 24:27 puts it this way: Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house. Always put necessities first. When examining the remainder of your budget, ask the question What happens if this doesn't get paid? Does it threaten your ability to work? Then that category goes higher on the list. Set your priorities down on paper, on purpose.

Train a Child

Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. - Proverbs 22:6

We use this verse as a basis for church education programs like Sunday school and Vacation Bible School. My wife and I took this verse to heart in the schooling of our two oldest daughters. The baby, though, taught me that it goes deeper.

Vania had digestive problems from the day she was born. Vania regurgitated most of what she ate. The lack of nutrition hurt her growth. At 9 months Vania looked like a 3 month old baby. Her doctors prescribed a formula that digested faster than the acid reflux forced it back out. Vania began growing again. She started solid foods and developed normally - though 9 months behind.

Vania also exhibits some quirks. Her doctor thought the symptoms might indicate a genetic disease called Rett's syndrome. The blood test takes two months. In that time, my wife and I learned more about Rett's. A lot of frightening possibilities appear in your mind. Will she walk? Will she talk? What about mental development? Will she die young from this?

My wife took Vania for the blood test. They saw children in double strollers - child on one side, oxygen tank on the other. I heard about the children in wheel chairs. My wife was afraid. I was afraid. I imagined our little girl trapped in a body that refuses to work.

Thankfully God doesn't leave me in my stupidity. I had condemned Vania to misery in my own heart and mind. I thought of her through my own fears. And I would treat her - teach her - with those same fears. Out of fear, I would train Vania about the things she couldn't do.

I resolved that Vania will not learn defeat, fear, or surrender. We will train her about what she can do.

Our children learn their principles from us: hard work or laziness, patience or anger, defeat or success. They learn these traits very young. And our children live those principles when they're old. What are your children learning?

FPU Invitation, Summer 2009

Dishonest money dwindles away, but he who gathers money little by little makes it grow. Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life.

- Proverbs 13:11 & 12

Are you struggling financially? Do you want better for your family?

Financial Peace University focuses on growing one little step at a time. You will leave this class working harder than ever before. You will face a mountain. And you will climb it.

FPU lays out a map over the mountain. It gives you the tools for your situation. Learn about making money behave, reducing risk with insurance, investing for the future, and kicking Murphy out of the house.

FPU begins Sunday, May 31. Please sign up in the foyer, so that we can let you know the time. Contact Jerry Imel (Imel902@comcast.net) or Rob Wohlfarth (rbwohlfarth@gmail.com) if you have any questions