I Forgot

Something odd happened today. Well, the thing that happened wasn't odd. I found my reaction to it odd - at least in comparison.

I was going to have lunch with a coworker. We do that every so often. Talk about work, life, whatever. She forgot. It happens. And that's what was odd - "it happens". Actually, I had to leave early. She realized that we missed lunch and said something. It was just a simple I forgot or something to that effect. And that was enough.

In contrast, my ex used "I forgot" as the first excuse. It just made me sad, then angry. Why the difference?

I think the difference is trust. I trust my co-worker. I forgot was a statement of responsibility and apology. I know that because, well, we talk. It fits with what I know about her. It's probable.

My brain works weirdly. Or more to the point, I'm more aware of what it's doing. All our brains work on probabilities. You can never know anything with 100% certainty. So we construct mental models of how the world works, how the people around us work. And we interpret every action from the perspective of that model. In other words, you never get a second chance to make a first impression.

I view my co-worker as trustworthy, open, responsible, and willing to accept mistakes. Most importantly, I trust that she really does care about me as her friend. I trust that because she has shown it through acts of grace. Grace is the difference.

Who do you trust in your life? And why?