The Measure of a Goal

I was out on my walk this morning, thinking about the weekend. The girls and I tried an experiment. They each took responsibility for everything for one day. Unsurprisingly, we had some hiccups. And I've been trying to think of a good way to do a post mortem.

That got me thinking - what was the goal? It's very easy to say that the goal was getting chores done. But that's not true. Yes, the chores needed doing. And yes, I'm thankful for their help getting them done. That just wasn't really my goal.

I wanted to accomplish something with them. I wanted to build a relationship. Establish a back and forth. Figure out how we can communicate instead of running off to our rooms. I wanted to build a relationship.

And that brought me to think about my relationship with God. God set the terms. Yet even inside of that, He left a lot of room for us. There were certain things when God said "do it this way, exactly". And there are a lot of things that He allows us to do on our own, our way.

God defined the size of the ark of the covenant, where it was kept, and how it was carried. He was very direct and precise. He laid out very specific meats they were not to eat. Bur He didn't say one word about how to spice the food or what it should taste like. God tells us that He wants obedience, then leaves things up to our own judgement. This is the balance between control and relationship.

Relationships are by invitation. In every relationship, we share both the responsibility and the benefits. What happens in a relationship with someone who won't share? I had roommate in my younger days (oh, so long ago :)  Would not share ice cream. I got one serving - the day it was purchased. Maybe a half serving the next night. But ice cream never lasted longer than that.

I once heard a missionary describe it as a barrel mentality. Relatives or sponsors from another country would send barrels of food for families. The day the barrels arrived, someone from the family would pick it up at the dock. On the way home, they would start eating. Because once you got home, everyone had to share.

At home, everyone had the same idea - get some before there's none left. An entire, huge barrel of food gone in just a couple of days. And the family would start waiting for the next barrel all over again. A never ending cycle. This is what was happening with the ice cream - a refusal to share.

The same refusal happens emotionally, or with power and authority. Every relationship is about sharing. The terms simply describe who shares what, how it's divided up.

I read a great quote once. Forgot to write down who said it, so I apologize...

The measure of a goal is not what you're willing to do for it, but what you're willing to sacrifice.

Sharing means giving up - releasing - things that you are entitled to. It takes dying to your flesh (self preservation). And it's hard. I still mess it up. Thankfully, God thought of that too.