Escape

You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.
-- J. Donald Walters

I came across this quote over the weekend and it struck a chord. It's amazing how hard we try to escape our problems. Believe me, I'm not immune to it. That temptation to just make it go away.

Vines pop into my mind. Jesus talks about fruit. We bear fruit. The good ground brings a hundred fold increase from one seed. A good tree grows good fruit. Bad trees grow bad fruit. We know other people by their fruit. But what is fruit?

Is it the actions we take? The words that we say? I don't think so. I grew up thinking fruit meant behavior. But I don't think that's quite right. Actions are amoral - neutral. Good and evil comes from something deeper inside of us. For example, the 10 commandments said don't murder. And God still sent the Israelites into Canaan with orders to kill everyone. Same action. Different fruit.

I think fruit has more to do with the results of our actions. You know the stereotypical car salesman? Slick. All nice and friendly. Would cheat his own mother for a quick buck. Have you ever dealt with a salesman who just left you feeling icky? You couldn't point to anything specific. But something was off.

That's fruit. It's the spiritual residue left over from your relationship with someone else. What do they leave you with? Peace, joy, kindness, patience, faithfulness. Not always good feelings. Feelings are fickle. But do you grow for having known them?

Those things I listed are fruits of the spirit. A good relationship bears good fruit. Bad relationships bear bad fruit. There's a great story, which I've probably quoted before. An elder Indian chief is sitting with his grandson. The elder says to the boy, "Inside every man are two wolves. One wolf represents all that is good - kindness, honesty, peace. The other wolf is all that is bad - rage, jealousy, greed. These two wolves are always fighting. Fighting to the death." The grandson pauses for a second, then asks, "Grandfather, which one wins?" The elder replies, "The one that you feed."

Inside of every person are two warring sides - the spirit and the flesh. A good wolf and a bad wolf. However you want to picture them. Each is trying to kill the other. And this is where torment comes from. That inner turmoil that afflicts us so easily. We run from this torment. We try and hide from the pain, from the fight.

It takes a lot of energy to fight. It's hard to understand your own motivations. To consciously choose the one wolf over the other. Try paying attention to everything, all day long. You'll find that your brain gets tired. It starts taking short cuts. And so we give in to our flesh. Because it's easier than fighting.

And that's where the quote at the top comes in. Escape takes many forms. Alcohol and drugs are probably the culturally ingrained things that pop into your head. But it can be food, TV, movies, music, sex, fishing, and even housework. Anything that you use just to not face God. You see, the real issue isn't running from our problems. It's that we're running from God. Facing our problems only makes us see our need for Him. And that is what the bad wolf doesn't want you to know.

Fruit comes from who we are, deep inside. And when we face God, we see all of the darkness. We see all of the hiding places we never thought about. And we do everything in our power just to avoid taking that glimpse. Because once you do, you know the choice. And we don't want to make that choice. It's a hard choice. It means killing one of the wolves. And the wolf's fighting for its life.

So exactly how do we face ourselves, and all that we do? That's why Paul refers to Jesus' resurrection as victory. I don't confess sins because God needs to hear them. I confess them because I need to face them. Face them, accept that I did them, and receive forgiveness because someone greater than me already paid for it.

Peace comes from surrendering myself to God. There's one last metaphor with the fruit. Jesus describes us as vines. Bad trees produce bad fruit. But graft that bad part into a good tree, and it becomes the good tree. It produces good fruit. He goes one to say, "I am the vine. You are the branches." We can be changed. It's not easy. That stupid wolf will fight to the bitter end. And peace won't always seem real. But it's coming. One day when that wolf dies.