Obedience

Obedience is accepting someone else's definition of right and wrong. This occurred to me in the shower while imagining an argument in my head. Why God picks these moments for teaching I'll never know. Must be His sense of humor.

We (and by "we" I mean "I") often confuse obedience with following orders - do what someone else wants. I'm proposing that obedience mean doing what's right as defined by someone else. For example, I accept God's definition of right and wrong. I want to be right, because let's face it, who wants to be wrong? Therefore, I obey God.

Obedience begins with rules. As I grow and we grow closer, communication and connection take a more dominate role than rules. This is how relationships work.

I think about my oldest daughter. When she learned to crawl, she wasn't allowed in the kitchen. We stopped her at the threshold. A 10-month old can't understand all the subtleties of stoves, hot water, or people moving around. Shoot, she couldn't even talk yet.

As she got older, she went into the kitchen at certain times. Then using the stove with supervision. Now, she makes fantastic burgers for dinner while I'm driving home from work. 

For Shame 

What happens when both sides insist that they're right? One of them is lying. We rationalize. And we substitute our rationalization for obedience. I find myself doing this. When I come up with a clever reason why I should do something, it's a red flag that I better double check my motivations. Talking myself into or out of something raises the question why do I need an excuse? 

If I'm doing what's right, isn't that reason enough? Sometimes it is right. I'm a victim of overthinking even when I don't need to. And many times I'm wrong. I want to do it. I came up with reasons why I "need" to do it. I have an excuse for doing something that I know is wrong. Of course, it's still wrong, isn't it?

Accepting someone else's definition of right and wrong is hard. It gives them great power over our self and our worth. If they judge us wrong, then aren't we guilty? Like I said earlier, who wants to be wrong? And it's all compounded by the truth that they themselves can be wrong.

Connections

Somehow, this all ties into emotional connections. I'm just not sure how yet. Marriage begins with a wife promising to accept her husband's definition of right and wrong (aka obedience). Our relationship with God begins the same way - accepting His definition of right and wrong. From that, a connection grows. It begins a cycle doing more of what He asks, growing a stronger connection, doing more of what He asks, making a deeper connection, and so on.

Interesting.