She'll Rub Off on You

I really love it when I read something in a book and then come across a Bible verse that says the same thing, but in a way I hadn't thought about it before. This synchronicity God uses to teach me always leaves me awestruck.

I'm reading How to Hug a Porcupine, by Julie Ross, M.A.. In one chapter, she tells a story about this neighbor she knew growing up. He and his wife had no children of their own. And they were super friendly to the kids who lived around them. The man would take care of his yard. In particular, he enjoyed trimming the trees. She would see him stroke the leaves when he was done with a section, admiring their beauty. Every time, his wife would tell "be careful, don't fall off the ladder". She watched from inside nervous about him climbing around.

Over the years, the man stopped trimming the trees. The author saw a tree service come by and do the work. It was slow at first, then became more frequent. Many decades later, after his wife had died, she asked this man why he stopped. It was obvious how much he loved the trees. He explained that his wife's nervousness about climbing the ladder rubbed off on him. Her point to this story was that we "rub off" on our children as we raise them.

The verse was from Proverbs - as iron sharpens iron, so does one man sharpen another. I've often heard this presented as making someone better. A sharpened knife is way better than a dull one. This time I saw it in a different light. The author of Proverbs was making the same point as the other story - we rub off on each other.

This is the nature of relationships. Not strong enough. This is the purpose of relationships. Every relationship changes us. So how are you changing the people around you? Because you will rub off on them. And they on you.

Then, in a triple whammy, it hits me that this is what Jesus meant when He talked about fruit. In Matthew, Jesus explains that we can know His followers by their fruit. Good trees have good fruit. Bad trees produce bad fruit. I tend to think of fruit as the results of ones actions. Actions come from character. Character is built by relationships. Fruit really comes down to how we rub off on the people around us. Are they better because of our presence?

Sorry, I'm still fleshing this out in my brain. This chain of reasoning started with Dave Ramsey saying that personal finance is 20% knowledge and 80% behavior. Turns out that 100% of behavior is character. And character comes from relationships. Your friends not only reflect who you are, they help make you who you are going to be.

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom" - also from Proverbs. This is what Jesus meant by good tree bears good fruit. God is huge. Bigger than anything we can imagine. I think of Douglas Adams' description of space in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. Then double that. And you're still not even close to the size we're talking about here. If human relationships rub off on you, imagine what a relationship with God can do. We're talking about dropping the Pacific Ocean on a thimble.

Our problem is shame, guilt. God is sinless. As He rubs off on us, His attitude toward sin becomes our attitude. The problem is, I'm one of those sinners. And if I look at myself through His eyes, I could never stand the sight. I'm ashamed now, just about other people knowing. If I really, truly understood God's attitude, I wouldn't function. It's that bad.

And that is why Jesus is so important. Because of Him, I don't need to be ashamed. When God finally restores His relationship with me the way it was intended at the beginning, Jesus is the one who will keep God's perfection from crushing me under the weight of guilt and shame.

Okay, I strayed a little off topic. Think about the people in your life. How do they rub off on you? What seeds are they planting? Love, joy peace, faithfulness, patience, forgiveness, courage? Or is it fear, resentment, laziness, excuses, and rationalizations? This is their fruit. Is it a crop that the farmer is thrilled to have and brings him profit? Or is it a blight, suitable for the trash heap, not even good enough for the pigs? Which one am I?