Quarrels and Gratitude

My pastor posted this article on Facebook. I won't lie, Vania. All I could think about was your mom. 

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/am-i-the-quarrelsome-wife?fbclid=IwAR3puek99whg1fXKh35T2d_1JvGG_J37h_Rk55ZyXbth3UvKbk7qmuWcbVk

Like most other things, I also saw a connection to something else, ironically, from Sunday's sermon by the same pastor. He's preaching through Acts and the start of the early church. He made a point of how they shared a meal.

In Thou Shalt Prosper, Rabbi Danial Lappin explains that human beings are physical and spiritual beings. As opposed to animals, who are purely physical beings. When humans put a ritual around something natural, it brings a spiritual significance to an otherwise physical act. Human beings cook, add spices, sit at a table, and share meals. Animals eat. We spiritualize eating by adding ritual.

What's the connection? A quarrelsome wife quenched her spirit. She devolves a home into merely a house.

Behavior

The article talks about unfilled desire as a cause of quarrels. To fulfil her desires, the quarrelsome wife uses the same negative behaviors as an addict. She rationalizes her behavior, just like an addict. If they target just does what I want, then they won't get hurt. It's their fault, not mine. The quarrelsome wife is abusive and bullying.

And it doesn't take yelling to be quarrelsome. Passive aggressive anger is just as destructive as outright yelling. In many ways, it is more insidious. The key is that a quarrelsome knows that she is quarrelsome. She has, at some point, made the decision to get what she wants. She knows that it's wrong. And doesn't care. The spirit, right and wrong, has been quenched.

Whatever it was this woman desired doesn't matter any more. It is more important that she take what she wants. Receiving her desire is no longer enough. She wants what she wants on her terms, and her terms alone. The thought of being cut off frightens her so much, that she will do or say anything.

Conclusion

I disagree with the article's conclusion. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, why not just call it a duck? Addiction, real addiction, takes an enormous amount of effort to overcome. The quarrelsome wife has a lot of painful, hard work ahead of her. Yes, that certainly includes more gratitude.

Vania, I write this not because I think that you are quarrelsome. I write it so that you will recognize quarrelsome people when you see them. So that you understand the importance of choosing God in even the smallest things in your life. And why He asks us to live in gratitude.