Peace

In the midst of stay at home, I had an opportunity to speak with two friends yesterday - my cor-worker and my daughter's roommate. Peace was the overwhelming common thread. I felt this urging to just blurt out peace comes from God. Not sure that would have helped either one. So instead I'm writing this letter to my daughter with all the things that I wanted to say.

The virus, picking it up from work. Money. Food. Toilet paper. Old cars. A job. A dark, empty office. And just plain being separated. All of these things bring stress. All at once brings a lot of stress. I know that it helps to talk. I know that putting numbers on your money relieves some of the pressure. Or a twelve pack of TP. Or telling a friend who listens.

And yet there is really only one person who can give you peace - God Himself. Look, I know church isn't your thing. I'm not talking about church. I'm talking about a person. We've gone over the morning pages before. Sit down and write 3 pages of whatever pops into your head. I would strongly encourage you to do that now.

The purpose is to be yourself. Open up with all honesty. Let go of the lies we tell ourselves trying to hold it all back and put on a brave face. Look at truth in all its brutal and burning light. Tell God everything He's doing wrong. Because like in any conversation, He talks back. That is where you will find peace.

He already knows how this virus goes. Who gets sick. Who dies. He already knows where the toilet paper is, and if we'll run out. He knows how much money you need and when. Where the job is. None of this comes as a surprise. Or in any way hinders what He intends to accomplish. All He asks is that we believe what He accomplishes is good. Trust that He loves us.

When you were little, first learning to walk, I took you outside to run in the driveway. You very quickly made it down to the street. I gave you a stern "no" as you reached the curb. You looked at me. Then looked back at the street. And I watched as one of those little feet slowly extended out. Another stern "no", slightly louder. The foot withdrew, only to make its way back out over the asphalt. When it landed, I swooped down, picked you up, and spanked you right there. Boy did you wail - for about a minute.

The funny thing is, that was less about keeping out of the road as it was about building a relationship of trust. I gave you a moment of pain in a way I could control to spare you much greater pain that was out of my control. Even at our worst point, we were still building a relationship based on trust.

I'm not saying any of this is God's punishment. I'm saying that even when He does discipline, He does it for our good - building a relationship with Him. How much more is He looking out for us when it isn't discipline?

Peace starts with a conversation. A conversation with the one person who can, with all confidence, bring peace. Start there. See where it takes you.