You asked why I write these letters. And I didn't really give you much of an answer. So I wanted to explore it a little more.
I was reading a book recently called Scary Close, by Donald Miller. Mr. Miller talks about a visual example he learned about relationships. The leader lays down three pillows. He has person A stand on one pillow. Then he has person B stand on the pillow on the other end. So you have two people facing each other with an empty pillow in the middle.
The leader explains that each person has their pillow. The middle pillow represents the relationship between those two people. Each person can step onto the middle pillow whenever they want. They can step with both feet, one foot, and step back to their pillow any time they want. You can never step directly onto the other person's pillow.
Relationships are like that. We all have our own thoughts. You are your own person. You have your own pillow. Every time you deal with another person is a relationship - a middle pillow. And you both step onto that pillow. How much depends on the relationship. You share more with closer friends. And you step back onto your pillow.
So what does this have to do with writing letters? These letters are my middle pillow with you. It's my way of inviting you into a relationship. I create stories with words. And I choose to share these stories with you.
Our relationship is changing. Actually, relationships are always changing. When you were young, your pillow was smaller. More stuff was in the middle pillow. As you've grown, you've taken responsibility for more of your own life. Those things have moved from the middle pillow and onto your pillow. The boundaries have changed.
It was pretty easy to let you feed yourself, get dressed yourself, do your own homework, etc. You're now at a point where the lines are murkier. We're both experimenting with what belongs in the middle and what belongs on your pillow. One day, it will all be your pillow. You will move out, find your own job, have your own money. And on that day, your pillow will be yours. And you will control how and when we interact in the middle. My hope is that you will allow me to share the pillow, even just a little bit. And so I am teaching you how - how to invite someone into the middle.
