Thursday, August 22, 2019

Time for church

Today's episode happened all in my head (hence the name of the blog).

Friend: "Church is all about rules. It's kind of ridiculous - some old man in the sky just waiting for you to make a mistake so He can jump out and say 'Gotcha!' Besides, look at how all those church people break their own rules."

Sorry, first I have to get the joke out of my system...
Person 1: "Church is full of hypocrites."
Person 2: "There's always room for one more!"
Me... You're not supposed to keep the rules. God isn't sitting around waiting for me to make a mistake. He really doesn't have to wait, does He?

All of those rules are for the express purpose of showing me, I mean really showing me, that I can't keep them - no matter how hard I try. Believe me, I've tried. No, really, I actually tried it once. I think it lasted 5 minutes. Or less. When I tell myself to not think about something, well, I think about it.

I'm pretty good at rationalizing. But there are enough rules in there that I can't rationalize all of them. And I think that's the point. Eventually, I have to admit that I do selfish things. Stuff that keeps me from being perfect.

And this is where the conversation breaks down in my head. I'm going to make a jump. I'm just not sure how this ties back...

Out of Time

Let's start with the premise that God sees all eternity as a single moment. He sees the end result, not the temporary condition. In Matthew 18:12-14, Jesus talks about not losing one that He was given. Notice the past tense. I think that's intentional. What if even those of us not born yet were already given to Him?

As a human being, I think about saved or unsaved as specific groups that are constantly changing based on the specific moment in time. I wonder if Jesus saw them as static groups. He wasn't seeing people who "need to be saved". He saw people who were already His, they just didn't know it yet. 

So all of those rules were written for them. To show them exactly what God was willing to do, of their need for Him. I'm not supposed to follow all the rules. I'm supposed to understand the value of not having to follow the rules.

Anything I want?

So if I don't have to follow the rules, then that means I can do whatever I want? Well, yes, I can. And I don't. Can and should aren't always the same. I should do what Jesus asks of me. He's proven beyond any doubt that He wants my good. I don't obey because I have to. I do it because I'm immensely grateful for what He has done, knowing that He wants to do even more.

He certainly knows a lot more than I do. What have I got to lose?

Okay, so back to church. I go because He asks me to go. I go where He asks me to go. I'm sure there are great reasons. And maybe one day He'll explain them to me. Until then, I do enjoy the process of thinking about it, even if it's all in my imagination.

Friday, August 16, 2019

Working It Out

I was on my way to Vania's school, talking to myself in the empty car. And somehow I ended up thinking about contentment and ambition.

Yes, I have ambition. I like nice things - matching plates, silverware, a comfortable bed, and air conditioning. I can live with less. But why?

Yet I have lived with less. And I was fine. So if I can be content with less, why do I want more?

I think ambition is more about about the shape of things. Contentment says I don't care about the things. Nice stuff isn't about the stuff. Dreams come from God. Dreams and ambition drive work. They give a reason to our lives, a goal and something to aim at. Contentment is when I accept where the arrow lands - even if it isn't quite where I thought I was aiming.

It's easy to get caught up in the extremes of both view points. We all know the movies about work-aholics who neglect the people in their lives pursuing stuff. On the other hand, there are people who won't work for anything. But they'll take whatever they can get their hands on. That's not contentment. That's laziness.

Contentment puts in the work God asks of me and accepts what the fruit He produces from it - whether that fruit benefits me or someone else. I don't have to get what I worked towards. I have to do the work. And trust God in whatever comes. Easier said than done.

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Eye of the Needle

That's a relatively famous phrase - easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to enter heaven. For those who may not know the story...

A man approaches Jesus and asks what can I do to live forever? This guy owns land, cattle, and well, stuff. Jesus tosses him a softball responding keep the 10 commandments.

Our protagonist pushes a little more, Which ones? The sarcastic person in me would have said all of them. Instead, Jesus listed a few. The man responds great, I've already done that. What else? And this is where it gets interesting.

Jesus changed tactics. He went right for the nuclear option. Sell everything you own and give the money to poor people. The man left. Jesus returns to the people around and goes on to give the now familiar camel reference.

That was Sunday's sermon, in a brief nutshell. During the small group discussion, someone contrasted this with the story of Zaccheus. You remember him, the guy who climbed a tree so he could see Jesus passing by. Jesus stops, talks to him, and ends up eating a meal with Zaccheus.

In the course of the meal, Jesus continues teaching. Zaccheus is so moved that he tells Jesus about cheating people on their taxes. Zaccheus ends by refunding the overcharges and paying back an additional amount (3 times the overcharge). Even this amount wasn't all that Zaccheus owned. It didn't put him into poverty. And yet Jesus commends Zaccheus.

Why did Jesus tell one guy to give it all away and praise another who didn't?

Why?

As with all things, I'm absolutely sure Jesus had many reasons. And with where I am now, one in particular stood out. The rich guy asked what he could do. He negotiated with Jesus. His question really was what is the least amount I can do and still get what I want. This guy tried to set the terms on which he approached God.

Think about this for a moment. God is so big that He sees all of never ending time as a single moment. Dictates the path of the smallest particles flying through space. And brought it all into being simply by speaking. How much leverage do I have, really?

Zaccheus saw a wrong and immediately went about setting it right, as much as he could. Zaccheus asked what's right for them. The rich guy asked what does it cost me.

Now, I have to be perfectly honest here. I've struggled with myself over this point. Am I just seeing what I want to see? I'm dealing with a person in my life who keeps doing as little as possible and thinks she deserves as much as she wants. It's not a good relationship.

Given, not earned

To finish the story about the rich guy, after Jesus finishes the camel allegory, the people around Him ask wait, are we going to be poor forever? Jesus corrects this, saying no, God gives back what you give away. My crazy brain focuses on the word gives.

It's not a trade. We don't earn these things. Most importantly, we are not entitled to them. God gives them because that's who He is - generous. I want Him to want to give me those things.