So I'm at a picnic table in Holiday World theme park. Vania - my 3 year old - sits in her wagon watching the nearest ride. It's hot. We're sweaty. I'm eating ice cream. What crazy paranoid thought goes through my head?
I imagine somebody snapping our picture. See that selfish father, eating ice cream while his baby sits there. Doesn't he have enough sense to know that she's hot too?!
And what lesson do you think I gleaned from this imaginary conversation? The difference between need and want. First thing off your tongue, right? I didn't expect so. Let me explain.
I catch myself needing all kinds of things - time away, this or that. After all, if I need it, then I'm justified in buying it. Who can argue with a need?
It's all a lie - self deception at its finest. I truthfully just want those things. Want, however, implies personal responsibility. If I want it, then I chose it. And if that thing is frivolous, more than I can afford, or bad for me, then the consequences are my fault.
Genesis says that God created us in His image. Then He commanded us to subdue the earth and rule over it. He most definitely did not say let the earth rule you. We're not supposed to live from one need to the next. God is sovereign. He did not set the universe in motion and let go. He actively controls its direction - molding it to His desire.
Want does not equal selfishness. Want is what God commanded from us. If you want something, don't lie by calling it a need. Stand up, take control, and want it. Say what's true: I want.
Okay, what does any of this have to do with me not sharing my ice cream with Vania? We really do have needs. Needs are when you die without it. I needed hydration and some minerals. I wanted them in the form of ice cream. Needs are very real physical limitations.
Vania also has needs. Vania needs to avoid dairy. Dairy physically makes her ill. It harms her body resulting in a sick feeling, grouchiness, and general misery. It is a physical limitation. By not sharing, I gave Vania what she needed. I saved her from pain, misery, and illness.
Honestly, I wanted to share with her. What father doesn't imagine themselves sharing an ice cream cone with their kid? The smiles, laughter, and good feeling of sharing. Putting my want over Vania's need is selfish.
And before everyone thinks that I'm a terrible Dad who lets his little girl roast in the hot sun - Vania had a sippy cup of juice. Her favorite juice, by the way. I enjoy meeting her needs with things that she wants.
